


Stay with me

by Lavanyaa



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Boyfriends, Crying, Heartbreak, Loss, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Pain, Panic, Sad, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-10-21 03:21:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17635070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavanyaa/pseuds/Lavanyaa
Summary: With his magic gone, and his immortality with it, Magnus' years of living suddenly started to catch up with him.Alec was going to try his best to save Magnus, because he wouldn't simply be able to live without him.But the question was, would he be able to save Magnus, without putting the world at risk?





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello people. I hope you're all alive with than amazing, mind-blowing, beautiful trailer, because I am not lol
> 
> I'm supposed to work on my other WIP but my mind wouldn't shut up and this happened... 
> 
> I have no idea how many chapters this is going to have so... yeah :')
> 
> English is not my native language so I apologize for any mistakes. 
> 
> Happy reading ❤️
> 
> Oh, and if you live tweet use the tag #StayWithMeMalecFic so I can see your reactions on Twitter 👀👀
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @Lavanya31101951 to see me freak over malec and see updates about my other fics!
> 
> Love, ❤️

Alec had been out, buying a snack for the day, when he got the call from. Catarina. 

 

“Alec ! It's Magnus! We are the Institute and-”

 

Alec hadn't waited for the end of her sentence, he had immediately knew that something was wrong. He dropped everything, and ran towards the Institute. It had taken him only a few minutes, and the next thing he knew, he was bursting through the doors of the Institute. When he got in, several Shadowhunters turned towards him, and before Alec could ask to any of them where Magnus was, one of them said:

 

 “He is at the infirmary, with Miss Loss, Mr. Lightwood” 

 

He didn't even said anything, he nodded his thanks to the Shadowhunter, and sprinted toward the infirmary. 

When he got in the corridor of it, Alec saw Jace, his mother, and other Shadowhunters standing in front the door, their back against the walls. 

When Jace saw Alec running towards them, he walked to him and said, 

 

“Alec, wait-”

 

“Let me go in, let me- What are you doing?” asked Alec, when Jace grabbed him by his shoulders and made him look at him. 

 

“Alec listen to me first!” said Jace, with a strong and firm, voice, and Alec's attention went to him. 

 

“Listen, when you go in there, don't freak out, alright?”

 

“What are you not telling me? What's going on with Magnus?” asked Alec, suddenly filled with worry. 

 

“It's bad, just, Magnus needs you right now okay? So… just-” 

 

Alec didn't let Jace finish his sentence, whatever he was saying wasn't helping him, it only made him panic even more than he already was. 

He pushed Jace away, and ignoring the calls behind him, he opened the infirmary doors and got in. And what he saw, made his breath stutter. 

 

Isabelle and Catarina were in a corner whispering to each other, and there were at least five nurses, walking around a bed where Magnus was laying on it. 

His face was turned away to the other side, so Alec couldn't see it. But he saw the wires. There was one which started at Magnus’ right hand, and went to a machine from where a liquide was running through the wire. And there was another one, from his left hand, and went to another machine, which beeping sounds resonated in the room. 

 

When the nurses saw Alec stand in front of them, they all stopped moving, and one of them came to him and said, 

 

“He needs some rest, he will be awake soon.”

 

But Alec didn't pay attention to her, all he could see was Magnus. 

He moved past the nurse who was still talking to him, and approached the bed. 

 

“Alec”

 

It was Isabelle. She was walking to him, with Catarina by her side. 

 

But Alec didn't pay attention to them either, he kept his eyes on the bed where Magnus was laying. When the rest of the nurses saw Alec coming toward them, they moved away, and stood aside. 

He went to the other side of the bed, and when saw Magnus’ face, he felt like all air was taken out from his lungs. 

 

Magnus’ face was so so pale, and a tube was inserted in his nose, probably to help him breathe. There were some traces of blood on the jacket he was wearing, and some beneath his nose too. 

His face was pale than Alec has ever seen, and every breathe Magnus took, came with a weird sound, like even breathing was hurting him…

 

“What… what happened?” asked Alec, his voice cracking by the end, still looking at Magnus, but addressing his question to Isabelle and Catarina. 

 

“We… were at the Library, looking through some books, to see if we could find something that could help us to get his magic back and…” 

 

Catarina stopped talking, and turned her head away, to hide her tears away. 

 

“And what?” asked Alec, almost whispering. 

 

“He started to feel light apparently, he said that he felt like he head was spinning, and after a few seconds, he clenched his side, and he couldn't breathe, and blood was coming out of his nose, he just-” said Isabelle, and when she stopped talking, Catarina took over. 

 

“He struggled breathing for a while and the blood wouldn't stop, so I tried to heal him with my magic, but his body… it wouldn't react to it”

 

“What… What does that mean? How did he-”

 

“We don't know how it happened, but with my magic not working on him, I asked for Isabelle, and we brought him here. Your medical staff and us, used the mundane way, and gave him some medecines and put him under oxygen. Then we did some tests. ” finished Catarina, her eyes lingering on Magnus’ for a few seconds, before looking back at Alec. 

 

“It's bad, Alec, I…” 

 

Catarina didn't seem to have the strength to finish her sentence, because suddenly, a sob came out of her, and tears appeared, then, she turned away and run toward the infirmary doors, and disappeared. 

 

Alec, didn't call her back, or didn't even try to stop her. He just looked at Magnus, who had his eyes closed, and was sleeping, quite restlessly, by the look of it. 

 

“His lungs are collapsing, Alec…” said Isabelle, looking at him with shiny, teary eyes, biting her lower lip. 

 

“The tests that came out… His lungs are giving up, and his blood pressure is a little low, and his immune system is not fighting whatever is happening to him, and he is not reacting to magic, is body is fighting off the magic, I… Catarina said that… since Magnus’ magic was taken away from him, his magic who also made him immortal, she thinks that his years are catching up to him and…” 

 

Alec didn't hear what was Isabelle saying next. 

His head was buzzing and there was this weird sound ringing in his ears. One part of her sentence had knocked the air out of his lungs, 

 

“His years are catching up to him”

 

All was Alec feeling right now, was panic and fear. It had been weeks, since Magnus had lost his magic. And everything had changed since then. Alec had noticed that Magnus wasn't acting the same anymore. He had been spending more time in bed, just laying in there, without eating and drinking sometimes. But Alec had never noticed how actually tired Magnus was. He knew that Magnus had been feeling down, but he never once had made the connection to his immortality. 

 

Suddenly, Alec’s legs gave out, and let himself fall on the seat, at the side of Magnus’ bed. 

He took a look at Magnus’ tired face, and releasing a shaky breath, he put down his elbows on Magnus’s bed, and put his head between his hands. 

Trying to calm his breath down, and preventing himself to go into a panic attack, he took a few seconds to put his thoughts back in place. 

 

Bringing his hands down, he felt tears forming behind his eyes as he kept looking at Magnus, then looking back at Isabelle, he whispered, slowly, as if he was even afraid to form his sentence, 

 

“Is he dying?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

''Is he dying ?'' asked Alec, looking at Isabelle, and one tear rolled from his eyes, and fell on the floor.

 

''Alec …'' started Isabelle, looking like she was struggling to tell him the truth, but Alec interrupted her,

 

''Is he ?'' asked Alec, again, with difficulty, swallowing the sob that was threatening to come out. He looked down at Magnus' pale face, and let out a shaky breath.

 

''Izzy !'' exclaimed Alec, looking back at his sister, looking at her with pleading eyes, and asking her silently, to tell him the truth.

 

Isabelle looked down at her feet, and biting her lips, she shook her head, and looked up with teary eyes and trembling lips. She took a few, deep breaths, and looked at Alec, with sympathy.

 

''He is … His body is weak, yes. Catarina said that since he wasn't reacting to her magic, we have to use the mundane way to help him … suffer less. And he may … uh …''

 

Isabelle couldn't finish her sentence, the word she was trying to say wouldn't come out, simply because, even the thought of it, made her want to cry out in pain. Magnus was her friend, not only he had changed Alec, with stumbling into their lives, he had changed everyone. He had given her a friend. And now, she was losing him, and the pain was too much to handle. How was she supposed to look at his brother and tell him that the love of his life was dying and there was nothing they could do ?

 

''So he is dying, then.'' said Alec, letting his head fall, and he laid it in his hands, while putting his elbows on his knees. He tried to keep himself under control, because Jace was right, he couldn't let himself panic now. He needed to keep his mind safe, so he could focuse on saving Magnus.

 

''We are looking for something that could help him heal. Jace is in the Library, going through some books, to see if there is anything that could be done to get his magic back, because without his magic, he … He wouldn't last the week, Alec …'' said Isabelle, looking at his brother with pained eyes. Saying it loud, made it worst, because the truth was unavoidable.

 

Alec looked up, and looked at his sister, his face pale, and his jaw clenched, like he was stopping himself from breaking down right here and right now.

 

''Don't stop looking, and go help them'' said Alec, with a trembling, but firm voice.

 

Isabelle started to shake her hand, and said,

 

''I can't leave you like-''

 

''Izzy... just leave, please … leave me alone'' interrupted Alec, not looking at her but at Magnus, now. He joined his hands together, and linked his fingers. He heard his sister's footsteps fading away, and he was left alone, in the infirmary ward, with a dying Magnus in front of him.

 

''You're not leaving me, you hear me ? You can't'' whispered Alec, looking down at his lover.

 

Tears rolled down on his cheeks, and Alec didn't even bother to wipe them away. He moved one of his hands, toward Magnus' hand, and held it. Magnus' hand felt cold in his grip, and took him by surprise, and he almost drew his hand back, but he didn't. He carefully took Magnus' hand in his own, and held it. He caressed the back of Magnus' hand with his fingers, holding himself from crying his heart out.

 

Why was this happening ? Why, to Magnus ? Why was he always the one who suffered the most, while he was actually the one who actually deserved every best thing in this world.

 

Alec used his other hand, and moved it toward, to caress Magnus' face, and he felt Magnus relax under his touch.

His face was pale, and his eyes were closed, but they were clenched tight, as if he was having a nightmare.

 

''It's going to be okay, Magnus... I am going to take care of you, alright ?'' said Alec, with a low voice, fearing that he would wake up Magnus from his rest. He used his thumb to caress Magnus' cheek, and Magnus, unconsciously, moved his head toward Alec's touch, as if he was seeking comfort from him.

 

''It's okay, I am here, I am here'' said Alec, continuing to stroke Magnus' cheek, smiling sadly at him.

 

Magnus was breathing, but rather difficulty, if the sounds of it were any indication.

 

Alec sat next to Magnus, and never let go of his hand. He didn't know how long had passed, until Catarina came back into the infirmary, making Alec look up, at her. She was standing in front of him, her eyes were red, her shoulders down, and she had dried tears on her cheeks. Alec looked at her, swallowing down, then, he got up from his seat, and walked toward her. When she saw Alec approaching, she broke. She moved her hand to her mouth to stop her cries, but when Alec hugged her, she moved her hands so she could hug him back, and rested her head on Alec's chest, and cried.

She was crying so much, her whole body was shaking. And Alec just hold her. He hold her, and whispered tender words to her.

 

A few minutes later, she moved away, and wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her shirt.

 

''Sorry'' whispered Catarina, looking down, and not looking at Alec.

 

''It's okay'' replied Alec, and Catarina looked up at him and smiled sadly.

 

''This is not okay … whatever is happening to him right now, it's not okay.'' said Catarina, gulping, and looking at Alec with teary eyes.

 

''We will do everything we can save him, right ? I am not letting him die.'' answered Alec, with a firm, commanding voice. And Catarina looked at him, with kindness and gratefulness.

 

''Okay, yeah, okay.'' said Catarina.

 

''Did you find anything about how to get to Asmodeus ?''

 

''No, we didn't... Jace is still looking though, we will find something, okay ? There must be something in all the books in here, there has to be.'' said Catarina, looking determined.

 

''Yeah …'' whispered Alec, looking down at his feet. He heard Catarina sigh, and looked up to see her staring at him, with a frown, and sad eyes,

 

''You are going to be alright ? Yeah ?'' asked Catarina, her voice barely a whisper,

 

''Of course, as soon as he's okay'' answered Alec, turning back to look at Magnus, who was still inconscious.

 

''He will be'' replied Catarina, looking at both Alec, and Magnus, and thinking why all the bad things happens only to the best people.

 

Alec took a deep breathe, and walked toward Magnus' bed again, and sat down in his chair, taking back Magnus' hand in his.

 

''What do we do now ?'' asked Alec, looking at Magnus, squeezing his eyes shut, fighting back tears, his mouth set in a hard line.

 

''Some of us has to stay in the Institute, by his side, to check on him, while the others will be either at the Library, or out, looking and asking for informations about how to reach out to Asmodeus'' answered Catarina, her face blank, and her jaw tightened.

 

''Do you think we will find him ? Asmodeus ?'' asked Alec, turning his head back to look at her, his eyes bored into hers, and he held his breathe, dreading the answer he was going to get.

 

''I don't know'' answered Catarina, honestly, and Alec was a little bit grateful that she wasn't giving him false hope.

 

''Do you wanna sit here-''

 

''No, no, I can't-'' said Catarina, her breath quickening, and her gaze avoiding Magnus' laying form, taking already a few steps back.

 

''I am going to head back, get in touch with people, mostly warlocks, to try and get some informations'' said Catarina, her expression closed, like she was trying to prevent herself from breaking down in front of him, again. And Alec understood. The only thing keeping him from losing it, was Magnus. Magnus needed saving, and he needed to concentrate on that. He needed to be here for Magnus, he could deal with his feelings, emotions, and fear later. Right now, the only important thing was Magnus.

 

''Alright'' said Alec, looking at her with a forced smile, trying to show her that it was okay, that he would take care of Magnus during her absence. That he wasn't blaming her, because he simply wasn't. He didn't know how long Catarina and Magnus were friends, but he knew that they were family. He knew that Catarina had been by Magnus' side, whenever he had needed someone in the past. Magnus had even told him that without Catarina, his past years would have more lonely. Alec knew how much Catarina cared about Magnus, so yes, he understood why Catarina couldn't sit her, and watch her friend die without doing nothing.

 

''Stay with him, please ?'' asked Catarina, looking at Alec, with pleading, and glistening eyes.

 

''I won't leave his side, I promise'' said Alec, meaning every word.

 

Catarina smiled at him, and taking one glance at Magnus, she opened the infirmary doors and went away.

 

Alec kept staring at the doors after they were closed, for a few seconds, then moved in his chair, to sit confortably, and looked down at his hand holding Magnus'.

 

Magnus hand was unmoving in his hold, and Alec felt like it was fragile in his grasp. Alec moved his other hand forward, and caressed Magnus' cheek like he had done a few minutes before.

 

Except this time, Magnus stirred in his sleep, and slowly opened his eyes.

 

'' _Alexander …_ ''

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 will be updated tomorrow night :D 
> 
> Thank you for reading !


	3. Chapter 3

''Alexander …'' whispered Magnus, opening his eyes, and looking at Alec, with confusion and worry.

 

Alec had never felt so relieved in all his life, like he was feeling right now. He felt like air had returned into his lungs, and he was finally able to breathe again. His shoulders were lift off the weight they had been carrying since he got that call from Catarina. He was feeling like his heart was beating again, as Magnus finally opened his eyes, and smiled at him, giving him the ability to breathe easily again.

 

''Hey'' simply whispered back Alec, giving a little squeeze with his hand which was holding Magnus', and caressing his cheek with his thumb. He was smiling down at Magnus, with tears shimmering in his eyes, relief written all over his expressions and face.

 

''What happened to- ?'' tried to ask Magnus, but after noticing that his voice wasn't in his usual tone, he stopped talking, and moved his hand from Alec's grip, and toward his throat, when he saw the wire, his eyes widened. And panic sized his whole being, Alec noticed it. When Magnus put his hands on his bed, to pull himself up from the bed, he groaned in pain and fell back into it. And moved his head upward and looked at Alec, with tired, and teary eyes, and Alec immediately started to reassure him.

 

''Hey, hey, look at me'' said Alec, standing up from his chair, and bending forward to look Magnus in his eyes. Bringing his hands up, and holding Magnnus' face between his palms, he used both of his thumbs to caress Magnus' cheeks, to offer some comfort.

 

''What's going on ? What happened to … my voice ? And … why do I feel so … weak ?'' asked Magnus, pausing between his sentence, to take a breathe, because talking was taking already more strenght from him, than he realized.

 

Swallowing down a sob, and blinking his eyes a few times, to prevent the tears from falling, Alec simply said,

 

''You passed out''

 

''I – what ?'' asked Magnus, looking at Alec, with a frown, and his eyes half closed.

 

''You … Uh, apparently, when I was gone outside to get us some lunch, leaving you and Catarina in the library, you started to feel … sick and you passed out.'' answered Alec, selfishly praying, and hoping, that Magnus would, by himself, remember what actually happened at the library, because Alec felt like his heart would give out if he had to go into the details.

 

But, looking at Magnus face, he realized that he didn't have to. Magnus, after Alec's answers, opened his mouth to say something, but closed it a few seconds later. His face was showing signs of confusion, but then, realization dawn on him, and his mouth opened in a silent gasp.

 

''Oh...'' simply replied Magnus, probably thinking back at what happened in the library. He brought up his hands, and looked at the wires entering his flesh, and moved one of his hand, to his nose, where he could still feel the dry blood.

 

''I... Are you okay ?'' asked Magnus, looking at Alec with worry in his eyes, but he was worried for him. Magnus, was laying in a hospital bed because he had trouble breathing and had blood coming out of his nose, but he was worried about him. Alec wanted to cry.

 

''I am okay, you should be worried about you, you know'' said Alec, looking at Magnus, trying to tell him what he didn't want to tell him with words.

 

''I am … I will be fine, just need a few days of resting, hopefully''

 

''You … hum...''

 

Oh dear God, how was he going to do this ? How was he going to tell Magnus, that he was dying ? How was he supposed to look him in the eyes, and tell him that his days were counted ? How do you even announce to someone that they were going to die ?

 

''Alexander ?'' asked Magnus, ''Is everything alright ?'' He tried to push himself up, from the bed, using his elbows, but gasped in pain, and he clenched his side with one of his hands, shutting his eyes.

 

''Hey, stay still, don't get up'' said Alec, pushing Magnus down, back to the bed, by holding both of his upper arms.

 

''But-''

 

''No, no, just lay down, okay ?''

 

''Alexander … I am not feeling good'' complained Magnus, closing his eyes shut, and breathing heavily.

 

''What's ...happening to me ?'' asked Magnus, opening his eyes, and looking at Alec with a questionning look. That's when Alec noticed a tear rolling down from Magnus' eye, and falling down on his pillow. And his heart broke.

 

''Hey … don't … don't cry'' whispered Alec, moving his hand toward Magnus' face, and wipping that tear away.

 

''It hurts... everywhere'' said Magnus, gulping, and taking a shaky breathe, trying his best not to scream out the pain he was feeling, because it was the worst he had ever felt. He felt like … every single cells in is body were being squashed, and burned by fire. He felt like his organs were reduced to rocks, or ice. He didn't know what it was, but he was in an unbearable pain. And it was getting worse.

 

''Wait, just … wait...'' said Alec, feeling like the words were stuck in his throat, and he didn't have the strenght, nor the courage to tell Magnus that the pain was only going to get worse. He got up from his chair, and stood up, grabbed the roller clamp which was under the bottle of glass which was hanging, to increase the amount of morphine, a little bit, so that Magnus' pain would be reduced. He saw tiny little drops of morphine going through the tube, making its way into Magnus' body.

 

''What's that ?'' asked Magnus, looking at Alec, with sleepy eyes.

 

''Just some morphine, it will help with the pain'' said Alec, not looking at Magnus yet, but standing still, and looking at the wall, facing him.

 

''Alec ?'' called Magnus, with a small, weak voice, and Alec felt his heart shatter.

 

 _By the Angel, this wasn't fair_.

 

He stood, facing the wall, and let his mind go through thousands of unwanted thoughts. He felt his eyes burning, by how many times he had pushed his tears back inside by blinking multiple times. He didn't know how much longer he could do this, pretending like everything wasn't going to shit. Magnus was dying... how was he supposed to fix this ? Of course, they had to find Asmodeus, to get his magic back, then Magnus would live. But what if they didn't ? What would happen if they can't find Asmodeus ? What if they couldn't get Magnus' magic back ? What if they lose him ? What would happen when Alec looses him ? How was he supposed to let that happen ? He couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't.

 

And right there, he silently swore to himself, and to Magnus, that he would protect him or die at his side.

 

''Alexander ?'' called Magnus again, when he saw that Alec wasn't reacting. His voice was raw, weak and a little raspy, and made Alec's heart miss a beat. A single tear rolled from his eyes. And that didn't go unnoticed by Magnus. Magnus moved his hand toward Alec, and grabbed his hand, and held it. His fingers caressed Alec's and he held into Magnus' fingers as if they were his life line.

 

Alec looked down at their enterlaced fingers, swallowed down his sob, and a few more tears fell from his eyes, falling on both of their hands. Alec turned his head away from Magnus, and sniffling, he wiped his tears away with his other hand. When he tried to take his hand away from Magnus' hold, Magnus held it with more strenght, and Alec was fighting the urge to cry his heart out. Magnus' fingers caressed the back of his hand, and Alec felt the coldness of the touch warming his whole body. He, carefully, and gently, squeezed Magnus' hand back and took a long, deep breathe.

 

''Alexander …'' called out Magnus, again. He was looking at Alec, with a little smile, yet a sad one. Like, deep down, he knew that something was wrong with him, and that it was hurting Alec.

 

''Tell me'' simply, said Magnus.

 

''What ?'' asked Alec, with a trembling voice, looking up from their hands, into Magnus' eyes.

 

''Tell me … what you're hiding from me'' said Magnus,

 

''I can handle it''

 

Alec shook his head, looking away from Magnus, and finding it more and more difficult to breathe.

 

''Alec … what... is it ?'' asked Magnus, pausing between his sentence, to breathe between the words.

Alec took a deep breathe, and closing his eyes for a few seconds, he opened them, and instead of looking at Magnus while talking, he kept staring at the wall.

 

''Catarina … She examined you, along with Isabelle, and they found out that ...uh... your organs … they're … failing... She said it was the side effects of losing your magic, which was linked to your immortaly, so … she... she told me that... she told me that your age was catching up to you, and that was why you got sick. She said … she said that you hum... That you …''

 

Alec could not finish his sentence. He simply couldn't. How was he supposed to look into Magnus' eyes and tell him that he was going to die ? And how, Alec was going to admit that to himself ?

 

''She … uh...''

 

Alec felt like he couldn't breathe, words were stuck in his throat, and he couldn't bring himself to say those words.

Suddenly, Alec felt Magnus' hand move away from his hold, and fell on the side of the bed. Fearing, for a second, that Magnus lost consciousness, Alec looked down, feeling the panic rise inside of him. But Magnus hadn't pass out. He was simply staring at the ceiling, Alec could tell that he was lost in thoughts. Alec didn't dare to ask a question, so he gave Magnus some time.

 

He was simply staring, lost in his thoughts, and was completely silent.

 

''I am dying, aren't I ?''

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter (hopefully) will be up the next weekend! 
> 
> Thank you for reading :D


	4. 4

''I am dying... aren't I ?'' asked Magnus, his voice nothing but weak and a whisper.

 

Magnus was still staring at the ceiling, and his lips trembled a little. He shut his eyes, and Alec saw a tear roll down on his cheek. His face went blank, and Alec saw the exact moment fear crossed his face, and sadness clouded his features as the realization dawned on him.

 

Alec felt drawn to Magnus, and the urge to comfort him, made him sit on the bed, and take Magnus' hand into his, while his other hand wiped the tear away with his thumb.

 

The moment Alec's hand rested on Magnus' cheek, he opened his eyes, and looked at Alec, with an expression full of sadness, that made Alec's heart ache in his chest. Alec felt his heart shatter into a million pieces, just by looking at Magnus' face.

 

''Am I ?'' asked Magnus, again, tilting his head to the side, into Alec's hand which was caressing his cheek, as if he was craving for his touch.

 

''Maybe'' answered Alec, still stroking Magnus' cheek and squeezing his hand.

 

''But I won't let you'' said Alec, his voice determined, trembling, yet firm.

 

Magnus chuckled, his mouth curving into a sad, tired, smile, despite his throat hurting him like he had just swallowed some thorns. He was feeling all kind of emotions, but he couldn't put a name on them. Fear ? Denial ? Acceptance ? Anger ? Magnus' mind was filled with unecessary thoughts, but somehow, all he could think about was Alexander.

 

''I promise you, okay ?'' said Alec, smiling down at him, with a gentle and kind smile, and with his eyes shining with unshed tears. His eyes were filled with sadness, but Magnus also saw determination in them.

 

''We will find a way, alright ? We just need a little more time, so hold on for me, okay ?'' asked Alec, smiling down at him, hoping deep down, that Magnus would provide him the strenght he needed, by believing him.

 

''You... can't'' said Magnus, smiling sadly at him, and holding back Alec's hand with a little more strenght than necessary.

 

''I will'' said Alec, looking down at Magnus with his forehead furrowed, sniffling, and almost glaring at him for contradicting him.

 

''You-''

 

''No,no. Listen to me, you're not dying. Not on my watch, do you understand ? I am not letting you. So … don't think like that okay ? Everything is going to be fine.'' said Alec, smiling down, forcefully, and sadly, at Magnus. Deep down, Alec knew that Magnus didn't believe him, that he wouldn't believe him. But Alec needed him to believe it. He needed Magnus to believe in _him_.

 

Magnus was looking at Alec, with gratefulness, and kindness, feeling absolutely amazed by Alec's devotion. Magnus knew that Alec loved him, he knew that he loved him as much as Magnus loved Alec.

He knew that he would do anything for him. But Magnus also knew that no one, absolutely, no one could fight death. Not even Alexander.

 

''We will get your magic back. And then, you will be fine. Okay ? Trust me, I will even go after Asmodeus myself if I have to-''

 

Alec couldn't finish his sentence, because, suddenly, as if Magnus had regain his strenght, he pulled Alec toward him, by taking hold of the lapel of his shirt. And now, Alec's face was just an inch away from Magnus'. Alec eyes were widened, because he wasn't expecting this sudden movement.

 

''You can't.'' said Magnus, looking at him with his eyes burning with anger and desesperation, and filled with tears. He stared into Alec's eyes, and clenched his fingers into his shirt, holding Alec even closer.

 

''You... can't go after...him. He'll kill you. He'll … kill you,Alec. Promise me- Promise you, that... you won't go after my Father'' said Magnus, pausing between his sentence, to breathe a little ; his eyes bored into Alec's, and his hold on him, was still strong. His mouth was set in a hard line, and his jaw was clenched, when he finished speaking. But he was looking at Alec like he was daring him to ignore the danger of such suggestion.

 

''What-'' But Alec couldn't even voice out his confusion, Magnus' grip on his shirt tightened, and he brought his face so close to Magnus', that Alec could feel his breath.

 

''Promise me... that you won't go after him !'' said Magnus, gritting his teeth, almost angry at Alec, for even thinking about doing something like this. How could he ? What was he thinking ? Even thinking about going after the Prince of Edom, was suicidal enough. And Alec wanted to confront his Father to ask his magic back ? Asmodeus would burn Alec alive. So no, Magnus wouldn't let that happen. He didn't care that he was dying, but Magnus wouldn't let Alec go into a suicide mission because of him. He wouldn't. He would rather die first.

 

''Magnus-''

 

''Promise me !'' exclaimed Magnus, this time, almost begging, his voice weak and pleading. He was looking at Alec with sadness, and Alec saw a glance of fear dancing in his brown eyes.

 

''Magnus, listen to me-''

 

''Promise me, first.'' said again, Magnus, adamant and persistent.

 

''Listen to me !'' exclaimed Alec, with a strong voice, bringing Magnus' attention to him.

 

''Look at me'' said Alec, ''Just, look at me. Listen, I'm not going to promise that. I am not just going to sit here and watch you … die, without doing anything. So I am doing exactly what you would do, if I were in your place. I am going to save you, do you understand me ? I am not letting you die. You're not dying on me.''

 

''But-''

 

''No. You can not ask me to promise that.''

 

''I don't... want you... get hurt'' said Magnus, more tears falling from his eyes, and his heart, was aching so much, by even thinking about Alec hurting by the hands of Asmodeus.

 

''Magnus...'' whispered Alec, looking at him with a kind, and soft smile.

 

''I'd rather be hurt than live with you dead''

 

''Alec-''

 

''No, let me talk. You saved me alright ? You saved my life, literally, in every senses of the term. You always save me. And you always save everyone. So, for once, just for once, let me save you ? Let me take care of you... please ?'' asked Alec, speaking quietly, almost whispering to Magnus.

 

''What if....you get hurt … because you... saved my life ?'' asked Magnus, talking with difficulty, his chest hurting everytime he took a breath.

 

''Then you'll be taking care of me'' said Alec, smiling down at Magnus, making him also crack a smile of his own.

 

''I can't … live with myself... if you get hurt... or worse'' said Magnus, looking at Alec with pleading eyes, trying to make him understand that he wouldn't be able to handle it if something happens to Alec, because of him, because of his father. He simply wouldn't.

 

''Please, don't go...'' said Magnus, his voice dropping a little, barely above a whisper, already tired and sleepy.

 

''I am not going anywhere Magnus, and neither are you'' answered Alec, his voice determined, and his eyes focused into Magnus' eyes.

 

''My … father will...hurt you if-''

 

Magnus couldn't finish his sentence, because he suddenly started coughing. He hold his sides with hands, and growned his pain.

 

''What ? Does it hurt? What-''

 

''I am okay. I'm okay'' said Magnus, after a few seconds of coughing. He let his head rest on the pillow, and took a long, deep breathe, to calm himself a little. His lungs felt like they were on fire, and his sides were hurting so much, it made him struggle to even breathe properly. Thankfully, the wire in his nose, and the others from which medecines and morphine were being injected into his body, made it a little easier for him to deal with the pain and the breathing.

 

''I am okay'' said again, Magnus, seeing that Alec wasn't looking convinced. Alec was looking at him with worry, and Magnus knew that Alec wasn't just worried, he was terrified. And Magnus knew that he would feel the exact feeling if Alec were in his position. And Alec had been right about one more thing. Magnus knew that he would himself go through Hell's fire, if it meant to save Alec's life. But how was he supposed to just lay here, while Alec would go to face his father in order to get his magic back ?

 

How was he supposed accept the fact that his Father might kill Alexander, for even thinking about challenging him ? How was he supposed let Alec go to Edom ?

 

Of course, Magnus would do the same for him, but this … this was different.

 

''You never...listen, do you ?'' said Magnus, with an exasperated look, yet a fond one. Alec chuckled, and traced Magnus' cheek with his thumb, shaking his head.

 

''Why do you...have to be so stubborn ?''

 

''Because I love you'' said Alec, suddenly with a serious look on his face, his chin lifted, his hand holding into Magnus', and staring into Magnus' eyes, showing him exactly how serious he was.

 

Magnus sighed, knowing that Alec would not change his mind. Because he knew Alec. He would do anything to save the ones he cared about. And Magnus would do the same thing. But, he just couldn't keep his thoughts clear, because every one of them were reminding him of the bad, terrible things which could happen, if Alec even tries to hurt Asmodeus. His Father would lash out.

 

''Just … promise me you... will be back'' said Magnus, knowing that Alec would go to Asmodeus even if Magnus would begged him not to.

 

''Of course, I will. I'll always come back to you''

 

Alec smiled down at him, warmly, his eyes shining with love, and care, and Magnus forgot all about his pain and suffering. Looking into Alec's eyes was his favorite thing. He loved the way Alec looks at him. His eyes would lit up, they would sparkle, and Alec always looked at him, like he was looking at the stars. His eyes filled with utter love, kindness, and admiration. But mostly love. And Magnus loved getting lost into Alec's eyes. They were his own universe.

 

Alec always had complimented Magnus' eyes, be it his glamoured eyes or his warlock mark. But Magnus thought that Alec doesn't know how much peace and contentement he feels whenever he looks into Alec's eyes.

 

Alec's eyes were Magnus' favorite place to get lost.

 

''Hey'' whispered Alec, looking at Magnus, with that same heart-warming look, and Magnus breathed again.

 

''We will be fine, okay ?'' said Alec, holding Magnus' hand with a little more strenght, and giving it a gentle squeeze.

 

''Promise ?'' asked Magnus, looking up at Alec, with hopeful eyes, and Alec also saw the fear, and pain, behind these beautiful, brown eyes, and Alec hated it.

 

''I promise you, everything will be fine'' reassured Alec, then moving forward, he kissed Magnus' forehead, gently, and felt Magnus relax under it. He heard Magnus take a long breathe, and he closed his eyes, smiling a little, and moving his hand from Alec's grasp, to rest it on Alec's hip.

 

Then, someone cleared their throat behind them, and they both turned to look toward the sound, and saw Raphael standing in front of them. His jaw was clenched, and he was fiddling with his hands.

 

''I heard … what happened. I had to wait for the sun to come down, to get here.'' said Raphael, looking at Alec, instead of Magnus.

 

Alec moved away from Magnus, and stood up. Then, looking down at Magnus, he smiled, and giving a last squeeze to his hand, he said :

 

''I am going to check if everything is going fine with the research, at the Library. I am going to give you guys some time, okay ?''

 

Magnus nodded and smiled up at him, then Alec, bent forward, and placed another kiss on his forehead, and drew back. He looked down at Magnus, one last time, before walking away from him, and then, his strong, hard, facade came down, and he was suddenly biting his lips, and blinking his eyes rapidly, to stop himself from crying. He needed to get out of here first, if he wanted to break down.

He didn't want to worry Magnus even more.

He walked toward the infirmary doors, and when he came next to Raphael, he moved his hand toward him, and rested it on his shoulder, gripping it with more force than necessary, to give the vampire his support, or maybe even to get some from Raphael.

Raphael turned his head to look at him, and Alec did the same, they looked at each other, and Alec saw, that even if Raphael had his usual, firm, expression, he was immensely worried and scared for Magnus, as much as Alec was. Raphael nodded to him, and Alec smiled forcefully. Then, he let his hand fall from Raphael's shoulder, and walked outside the infirmary ward, leaving them a moment to talk alone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up during the next week, hopefully ... :D


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

 

**Chapter 5 :**

 

As soon as he got out of the Magnus' room, Alec felt his knees buckle under him, and he let himself fall on the floor. His whole body was shaking, and his breathing was ragged, erratic. He felt like all air had been cut off from his lungs.

 

Magnus was dying. Magnus was _dying._

 

The love of his life was dying... How was he supposed to go through this ? How was he supposed to stop this ? How was he supposed to save Magnus ? Would he be even able to do that ?

 

Alec needed to get to Edom, and fight Asmodeus. He could do that. He would. Of course, he would. If that what was needed, to save Magnus' life, Alec would not hesitate. But how ? How was he going to find Edom ? How was he going to find Asmodeus, and fight against him, if he didn't even know how to reach him ?

 

Sighing, and taking deep breaths to calm his mind, Alec closed his eyes for a few seconds. But as soon as he did, the only image which came into his mind, was Magnus' lifeless body, laying on a bed. That made Alec open his eyes with a muffled and painful groan, and he took his head between his hands, and let himself fall apart.

Tears started to fall down on his cheeks, and his shoulders started shaking. Alec was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall, and his legs crossed beneath him. He tried to stop his tears, but he couldn't. He was silently sobbing on the floor, feeling like his whole world was ending.

 

Then, he felt two long arms embracing him, and Alec felt himself drawn into the hug.

 

''It's going to be okay, Alec, he will be alright''

 

The voice was soothing, and soft, a little trembling, yet firm and strong. It was his mother's.

 

''Mom...'' said Alec, his voice breaking, filled with agony, and fear.

 

''Alec …'' said Maryse, not knowing exactly what to say, to her son, who was breaking down in front of her, in pain, and agony, because the person he loved was dying.

 

She had been informed of the situation a few minutes ago, by Isabelle, who had called her on her phone, crying and gasping through her sobs, and all Maryse had heard was : '' _Magnus_ '' and '' _dying_ ''.

She had left her appartement, immediately, taking only her phone with her, and a jacket, quickling putting on her shoes. It had only taken her only a few minutes to get to the Institute. Underhill had let her in, making sure that all shadowhunters would respect her. She may not be a shadowhunter anymore, but she was still a Lightwood, and the Head of Institute's mother.

 

She had directly ran to the infirmary ward, guessing that Alec was probably by Magnus' side. And when she had entered the infirmary corridors, she had seen her son, on the floor, crying, and her heart broke into thousands of pieces.

 

She had run towards him and hold him in her arms.

And now, Alec was holding her with all his strenght, and she was trying to not to cry with him.

 

''Magnus is going to be just fine, Alec'' said Maryse, her voice as soothing, and calming as possible. She needed to be strong for his son, for both of them. She knew how much they loved each other. She knew that the other wouldn't be able to live by themself if something happened to the other one. Maryse may had taken a while, to realize how much they genuinely care about each other. She had thought that Magnus would be the one who would take Alec away from his duty, career, and family, but he had been the one who had saved Alec, in every way possible. Magnus had given him a safe place, a new home, and had made him feel loved and cared for exactly who he has. Magnus had been by his side, during every difficulties, and had supported him.

 

And Maryse had never been more thankful to him, for making her son grow up into the man he was now. He had made Alec grow into another person, and Maryse couldn't be more proud of him.

 

''He is dying mom... He's-''

 

Alec couldn't finish his sentence, because of his gasping sobs, and how much he was trembling.

 

''Alec. Alec. Look at me.'' said Maryse, moving her son away from her, and looking at him.

 

He had tears falling down from his eyes, and his eyes were red and puffy. He was biting his upper lip, his eyes were filled with unmeasurable sadness, and pain. He sniffled, and his jaw was clenched. Maryse saw the color drain out of his face, while terror and sadness overtook him.

 

She moved her hands forward, to hold her son's face between her palms, and she wiped the tears away, which were rolling down on his face.

 

''Alec, look at me'' said Maryse, moving his face upward, so he could look at her,

 

''Magnus is going to be alright, okay ? He will be alright.'' said Maryse, smiling at her son, rather forcefully, but with hope. Alec closed his eyes for a few seconds, and tried to get his breathing under control.

 

''Magnus needs you, right now, Alec. He needs you to be strong, okay ? Because you're the only one who can save him. Alec, you're the only one.'' said Maryse, and she noticed the exact moment Alec changed his composure. His jaw clenched, and he opened his eyes, which were now full of determination and a fire danced between his hazel eyes. He clenched his fists, and looked at his mother, and nodded. His eyes flashed, his forehead creased, his mouth was set in a hard line, and he was gritting his teeth, while his expression hardened.

 

''I won't let him die. I won't.'' said Alec, looking up at his mother, his voice, strong, and firm, but still shaking a little bit.

 

His mother smiled at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, and letting her hands down, she took his hands between hers, and squeezing them, she said,

 

'''Everything will turn out to be fine, okay ?'' said Maryse, holding her son's hands into hers, hoping that she was being able to offer him some comfort. Alec nodded, and smiled at her, feeling thankful for her support.

 

''I have to … to go'' said Alec, and the next second, he was on his feet, and Maryse got up as well. She looked at her son, who was looking back at the infirmary doors, with a sad and fearful expression, and her heart broke.

 

''Alec...'' started Maryse, but Alec interrupted her.

 

''I have to go and help the others with the research at the Library, and make a call to the Clave to ask for their help...'' said Alec, looking down at his feet.

 

''Okay'' simply said Maryse, and moved her hand toward, so she could rest it on Alec's shoulder.

 

''Alec''

 

Alec looked up at his mother, and smiled,

 

''Do you think... He will be alright ?'' asked Alec, with a little voice, and pleading eyes.

 

''Do you want him to be ?''

 

''Of course'' replied Alec, immediately, without even giving a thought to his answer,

 

''Then he will be. Because I believe in you, and he does too. He will be fine'' said Maryse, smiling reassuringly at her son. But then, Alec's smile faded, and he bite his upper lip, and with a sad look, said,

 

''What if I can't save him ?''

 

Another tear fell down, and Alec wiped it away with his shirt's sleeve.

 

''Alec … '' said Maryse, feeling tears forming behind her eyelids.

 

''What if I am too late ? Or what if we don't even find Asmodeus ? What if-''

 

''Alec !'' interrupted him Maryse, feeling like he may break down again,

 

''You can not fail, if you keep trying'' said Maryse, with a firm and strong voice, the one she always used during his childhood, whenever he, or his siblings, were getting yelled at, or scolded.

 

''Yeah... Yeah, I am gonna …'' said Alec, pointing at the end of the corridors of the infirmary, without finishing his sentence.

 

''Go, I will check on Magnus, while you're gone''

 

''Raphael is in there. He is talking with Magnus''

 

''Oh … I will sit here then. I'll meet him later.'' said Maryse, pointing at the chairs which were place next to Magnus' room.

 

''I''ll...''

 

''Go'' said Maryse, seeing that Alec was struggling with words. It always happened when he was being very emotional.

 

''Thanks mom'' said Alec, and before Maryse could even ask why, Alec had hugged her.

 

Maryse felt her son's arms embracing her, and she hugged him back. Alec put his head between her neck and her shoulder, and Maryse felt tears falling on her dress she was wearing, underneath her jacket. She used one of her hands to caress Alec's back, and the other one to ruffle his hair. She felt Alec relax under her caress. Then, a few seconds later, he drew back.

 

And smiling at her one more time, Alec walked away, and disappeared through the corridors of the infirmary, leaving Maryse, alone, facing the door of Magnus' room.

She sighed, and passed her hand on her face, then biting her lips, she sat down, on the chair. Closing her eyes, and letting her head fall back, she rested it on the wall behind her, and waited.

 

 

The silence in Magnus' room was unbearable to Raphael. Normally, Raphael wouldn't mind being quiet. But this wasn't a normal day. This wasn't even something that was supposed to happen.

Afer Lightwood had left, Raphael had walked toward Magnus' bed, hesitating for a few seconds, not knowing exactly what to do. Then he had heard Magnus's voice.

 

''Sit down, Raph''

 

So he had sat down on the chair, at Magnus' side, putting his elbows on his knees and bringing his hands together, and enterlacing his fingers, he had kept staring at Magnus.

 

''You're just going to … sit here silently ?'' asked Magnus, with a slight, little smirk, and Raphael chuckled, looking down at his feet, and avoiding looking at Magnus.

 

''The blondie called, he said that you were …'' said Raphael, and used one of his hand, to wave his hand in front of Magnus, to indicate Magnus what he was talking about because he didn't want to say those words.

 

''Dying ? Apparently...'' said Magnus, looking at Raphael with a sad smile.

 

''Are you really ?'' asked Raphael, looking up at Magnus, with his eyes a little wide, filled with denial, sadness, and worry.

 

''How does. .. it look like ?'' asked Magnus, swallowing between his sentence, all the while looking at Raphael with tired eyes.

 

Raphael put his head between his hands, and took a long, shaky, breathe, closing his eyes for a few seconds.

 

''Come on … you always complained about me … being way too much... involved in your life'' said Magnus, smiling teasingly, to ease the mood, but Raphael literally growled, and looked up at him with his eyes blazing with anger.

 

''Shut up. Don't … Don't you dare joke about this'' said Raphael, gritting his teeth, his eyes bored into Magnus'.

His voice was shaking a little, and Raphael felt even colder than usual. His hands were trembling, and it took a great amount of control to not to start screaming in rage, and shake Magnus for even thinking about joking about this situation.

 

''Raphael … mi hijo...''

 

Magnus' voice broke, and he felt the tears forming behind his eyelids, again. His whole body was hurting, badly, but the worst pain was what his heart was feeling. He knew that, even if Raphael acted like he never cared about anyone, he was one of the rare people, who cared the most about him.

 

When Magnus had heared that Raphael was leaving the city because of what happened with the other vampire, Heidi, he had been worried that he would not see Raphael in a long time. But thankfully, Magnus had spoken to Alec about it, and his boyfriend had come up with a solution which allowed Raphael to stay in the city, but with a strong warning to not to cross the line again.

 

For centuries, Magnus and Raphael had always relayed on each other, whenever they had faced problems during their long immortal life. But most importantly, Magnus had always knew that he could go to Raphael, whenever he had personnal problems... especially relationships problems. Of course, Catarina and Ragnor, had always been there for him too. But with Raphael, it was different. He wasn't much the talking type, there were times when Magnus hated that, but sometimes, it was a gift. Raphael wasn't the kind of person who gives emotional advices about relationships and love stuffs. Whenever Magnus had been heartbroken, he could always count on Raphael, to not make him feel worse. Especially when Raphael spends the entire time insulting him, and the other person who had put him in this state in the first place.

 

Magnus smiled, thinking about all the times where Raphael had been here for him, had helped him, just by being his usual self. Even if Raphael tried to hide it, deep down, he was, somehow, still a little bit, a lost, lonely, human, trying to find a place where to fit. And even if Raphael said otherwise, he was a caring person, and Magnus had never felt so thankful for Raphael never leaving his side.

 

Raphael … Well Raphael was, indeed, feeling very lost. He was going through a thousands of thoughts, and he hated every single one of them. Why did this always happen ? Whenever he had felt like he finally belonged with someone, that finally, he had find a person who'd help him, and be with him, no matter what, he loses them ?

After he had been turned, Raphael had always thought he would never be happy again. That this whole world would hate him, but then, his mother had brought him to Magnus, and he had helped him, he had helped him so, so much. Truth to be told, Magnus had more than helped him, he had raised him. He had stayed by his side, every day, when he was a little kid, telling him that everything would be alright. Magnus had been the one who had showed him the light, during a time where all Raphael could see was, pure and complete darkness. Magnus had saved his life. He had saved him from so many dangers, and he had never stopped.

 

''You promised'' said Raphael, finding his voice back, and looking at Magnus with red eyes. Magnus couldn't tell if it was because Raphael was angry, or heartbroken.

 

''What... ?'' asked Magnus, looking up at Raphael, frowning in confusion.

 

''You promised you wouldn't leave me, remember ?'' said Raphael, his voice slightly breaking by the end of his sentence, and Magnus, knew exactly what promise he was talking about.

 

_It had been quiet a long day, dealing with his clients at home, and taking care of the vampire child. Magnus didn't know when was the last time he let a child sleep in his loft. That probably had never happened before._

_When the kid's mother had dropped him on his doorstep, Magnus had been confused, and lost, about what to do with the child. Then, he had discovered that he was a vampire, and then, he had understood why the mother had seeked help from him._

 

_He just had said goodbye to the last client of the night, when he heard whimpers and whispers coming from the room where little Raphael was sleeping. He carefully approached the bedroom door, and stayed in front of it, placing his ear against the door, to hear what was going on inside the bedroom :_

 

_''No,no, no los quites por favor, no !''_

 

_Magnus hadn't hesitate a second, before he opened the door and stormed in, seeing Raphael trashing between the sheets, on the bed he was laying, but still, profoundly asleep, while being trapped in his nightmare._

_Magnus ran toward him, and carefully sat down on his knees, next to the bed, looking at Raphael, unsure of how to proceed._

 

_''Raphael'' had said Magnus, moving his hands forward, placing them, each, on Raphael's shoulders, and the moment Magnus' hands rested on his shoulders, Raphael had opened his eyes, and sat up straight, taking his head between his hands, and crying, loudly, and still whispering the same sentence, over and over again,_

 

_''No, no, no los quites, no los quites''_

 

_''Raphael, kid, look at me ! Look at me, you're alright'' said Magnus, getting up, and sitting on the bed, next to him. He had brought one of his hands up, and rested it on Raphael forearm, and shook him, in order to wake him from his nightmare. It had taken a few more seconds, until Raphael's snapped his head up, and looked around franctically, before his eyes setted on Magnus, then, sniffling, he had backed away by the edge of the bed, away from Magnus._

 

_''Hey, hey, it is okay, I am not going to hurt you'' had said Magnus, placing his hands up in sign of peace,_

 

_''This is a trick isn't it ? I am going to wake up, and everybody will be gone again'' had answered Raphael, his whole body shaking like a leaf, and his voice hoarse, his eyes widdening his fear and terror._

 

_''Raphael, this is real, you're okay'' had said Magnus, and brought his hand toward him, and held Raphael's hand into his._

 

_Raphael had started to shake his head, but he had held into Magnus' hand with such a strenght, that Magnus thought he would breake his bones._

 

_''Es esto real ?'' had asked Raphael, his voice trembling, and weak, that had taken Magnus a few seconds to understand, what Raphael was really asking._

 

_''Of course, it's real. You're safe, kid.''_

 

_Then, Raphael had flung himself into Magnus' arms, and held him, with his little arms, with all his strenght, and had continued crying into his shoulders, while Magnus had embraced him with his arms, whispering tender words into the child's ear._

 

_''You were dead, all of them, they were all dead'' had said Raphael, sobbing in his shoulders, and Magnus had tilted his head to the side, and had asked :_

 

_''What ?''_

 

_Raphael sniffled, and backed away from the hug, then he had looked at Magnus, with his puffy, red, teary eyes and said,_

 

_''My mother, my siblings, and you, you were all dead. You were laying on the ground, and there was so much blood, and you just wouldn't wake up''_

 

_And Raphael had started crying again, moving his hands to his face, to try to stop the tears, but it had been no use. Magnus, had moved his hands forwards, and taking the child's hands into his, he brought them down, and looking at Raphael with love, care, and kindness, Magnus had said,_

 

_''It was just a nightmare, Rapha, just a nigtmare.''_

 

_''So … it won't happen ?''_

 

_Magnus had opened his mouth to say that it won't but then he stopped himself. He couln't lie and say that his family members would never die, while he was an immortal. But, Raphael was still a child, he had been barely in his twenties, and he didn't needed this burden on himself, so Magnus had smiled, as honest as he could have, and had said,_

 

_''I promise you, they are okay''_

 

_Raphael had taken a long breathe as relief washed over him, then looking at Magnus, and had asked,_

 

_''And you ?''_

 

_''What about me ?''_

 

_''Will you ...die ? Will you leave me alone in this world, like my … my family did ?'' had asked Raphael, biting his trembling lower lip, and tears had started to roll down on his cheeks again, and Magnus heart had broke._

 

_He had moved one of his hands toward Raphael's face, while the other one had still been holding Raphael's hand, and had wiped the kid's tears away._

 

_''I am not going anywhere, Raphael. I am going to be by your side, for a long, long time'' had said Magnus, smiling at the child, trying to offer him some comfort. It had been true that Magnus used to take care of downworlders children, but this particulary child... there had been something about Raphael that made his heart ache in a way it never had before. Deep down, Magnus had knew why, it was because, in Raphael, Magnus had started to see a part of himself._

 

_''Promise me'' had said Raphael, looking at Magnus with sad, yet hopeful eyes, and at Magnus' confused glance, Rapahel cleared his throat, and with a hopefull smile, had said again,_

 

_''Promise me you'll always be here to take care of me ?''_

 

_Magnus had smiled at him, and with his hand still on Raphael's cheek, he had used his thumb to caress it, and had said,_

 

_''I will always be here for you. I promise''._

 

_Raphael had, for the first time he had gotten here, smiled widely at him, and laughed, whole-heartedly._

 

Raphael's relieved, and happy laughter, still ringed in Magnus' ears all the time he had thought about that particular night.

The memory was still fresh in both of their minds. And when Magnus nooticed how Raphael was looking at him, he sighed sadly, and letting a tear roll down from his eyes, he moved his hand toward Raphael, and took his hands into his, and held his hands into his own with all the little strenght he had left.

 

Raphael, when he felt Magnus' hand rest against his, he looked down, and let on tear fall on both of their hands. He didn't dare look up at Magnus.

He moved one of his hands, wich was under Magnus' grasp, and put in on top of Magnus', and held it, with strenght, letting his fingers close around Magnus' cold hand.

 

''You promised'' repeated Raphael, looking up at Magnus, straight into his eyes, and biting his lower lip.

 

''You promised you'll never leave me, so don't you _dare_ die on me'' said Raphael, his voice adamant, and strong, showing Magnus that he wasn't just going to sit here and do nothing.

 

''I can't do...much Raphael'' said Magnus, finding it harder to keep talking.

 

''Just... Keep fighting, alright ?We'll figure something out'' said Raphael, refusing even to acknowledge the idea that Magnus might die, and leave him.

 

''There is no... cure against mortality'' said Magnus, looking at Raphael, with pained eyes, and smiling sadly at him.

 

''Your immortality, we will get it back'' said Raphael, convinced, and looking at Magnus with determination.

 

''No...''

 

''Magnus, shut up, you're not going to die on us'' said Raphael, started to get angry by the fact that Magnus seems to be alright with it.

 

''You can't … bring my magic back'' said Magnus, swallowing difficultly, with pain and sadness, feeling his heart ache by his admission, even if he didn't want to believe in it.

 

''We can'' said Raphael, shaking his head, refusing to accept anything else,

 

''Your Lightwood boy must be already making some calls to the Clave right now, to ask for permission to go through their Restricted Section at Idris' Library, to try to find the way to get to Edom, because they don't have much informations in the books at this Institute. That's what Isabelle told me when I got here.'' said Raphael.

 

''Stop him...'' said Magnus, trying at least, to convince Raphael that this was a really bad plan.

 

''Are you kidding me ? There is no way that we're going to sit here and watch you die. If your shadowhunter doesn't do it, I'll go through Edom by myself'' said Raphael, looking at Magnus like he had suddenly grow another head. There was no way that he was going to let Magnus die. The Lightwood was stubborn, but clever and strong, if there was anyone who would be able to save Magnus, it would be him. And he wasn't going to stop him, he was going to help.

 

''Dangerous...'' said Magnus, trying to tell Raphael, how everyone could get hurt if they decided to go against Asmodeus.

 

''Yeah well … Asmodeus has it coming'' said Raphael, smirking weakly at Magnus.

 

''Don't joke-''

 

''Are you seriously expecting us to just let you die ? Magnus I knew you were stupid but not to this point. You would do the exact same thing, if Alec were in your place, or even me. Don't deny it.'' said Raphael, raising one of his eyebrows at Magnus, when he saw Magnus opening his mouth to contradict him.

 

''See, so just shut up, and for once, let someone help you, would you ?'' asked Raphael, glaring at Magnus, but Magnus could see the concern and the worry behind the vampire's eyes.

 

Magnus chuckled, and looked at Raphael, making Raphael look at him with a sad, small smile.

 

''Thank you'' simply said Magnus, looking at Raphael with a look filled of kindness and gratefulness.

 

''For what ?'' asked Raphael, looking down at their hands,

 

''For staying''

 

''I am not going anywhere'' said Raphael, looking up at Magnus, his eyes shining, and boring into Magnus'.

 

''Promise ?'' asked Magnus, his eyes already half closed, feeling absolutely tired.

 

''I promise'' said Raphael, chuckling, looking at Magnus, with his eyes filled with tears, pain and sadness, and Magnus smiled back at him, his eyes closing by themselves, even if he tried to keep them open.

 

''Go to sleep Magnus'' said Raphael, squeezing Magnus' hand, which was still in his hold.

 

''Alexander...'' whispered Magnus, closing his eyes, and resting his head on the pillow,

 

''I will wake you up when he'll get back in here, promise. Now, go to sleep.''

 

Magnus hummed, and he let himself fall back to unconsciousness, but before falling deep into the sleep he needed, he opened his again, only for a few seconds, and looking at Raphael with a kind, and caring smile, he said,

 

''Te amo mi hijo'' then, closing his eyes, Magnus fell into sleep, with a small smile on his lips.

 

It took Raphael a great amount of control to not to break down right there.

 

''I love you too'' whispered Raphael not knowing if Magnus heard it or not, but when Raphael saw Magnus' mouth twitche a little, and heard him humming, Raphael got his answer.

 

Sighing, while taking a deep breathe, to control the emotions he was feeling, Raphael brought up his hands, which was holding Magnus', and kissed the back of Magnus' hand, letting a few tears roll on his cheeks.

 

''Everything will be okay, Magnus. You are going to be okay'' said Raphael, using one of his hands to wipe his tears away.

 

The sound of doors opening made him look away from Magnus, and he let go of Magnus' hand, to put it on the bed, and stood up, when he saw the two people who walked in.

 

Underhill, a new shadowhunter, and the current High Warlock of Brooklyn, Lorenzo Rey.

 


	6. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ... I guess you're all still dead because of the last episode ... but yeah, you're going to die a little bit more with this chapter xD

''What is he doing here ?'' asked Raphael, getting up from the chair, and ready to throw himself at Lorenzo.

 

''Relax, vampire, I am here to help'' said Lorenzo Rey, holding his hands up in sign of peace, but Raphael didn't seem to be convinced.

 

''And I am supposed to believe that ?'' asked Raphael, grinding his teeth, looking at Lorenzo Rey, with a suspicious look, and a frown.

 

''Oh come on … The former High Warlock is dying, how do you it's going to look to my people, if I don't, atleast, help reduce some of his pain ? Trust me, I don't wanna be here either. I just want to do my job, and get out of here as soon as possible.'' said Lorenzo, rolling his eyes, and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

 

Raphael growled and took a threatening step toward Lorenzo, but Underhill intervened, placing himself between the two of them.

 

''Can we please calm down ? We are here to watch over Magnus, Mr. Lightwood called Mr.Rey so he can watch over Magnus just in case something happens, and I am here to make sure that you both behave.'' said Underhill, glaring at Lorenzo, and at Raphael.

 

''Fine'' said Raphael, glaring at Lorenzo, and clearly judging him, ''Just stay away from me, and don't talk'' said Raphael, pointing his finger at the warlock, then, he turned his back on them, and went to sit back on the chair next to Magnus' bed.

 

Lorenzo and Underhill sighed at the same time, and walked back, to sit at the chairs placed against the wall, facing Magnus' bed.

 

''Who are you again ?'' asked Lorenzo, looking at Underhill, with a frown, and tilting his head to the side.

 

''Uh … Steve. Steve Underhill'' replied Underhill, looking at Lorenzo, then at Raphael Santiago at the same time, expecting another bitter reply from the vampire, but he was silent, and holding one of Magnus' hand in his own, his eyes never moving away from Magnus, who was in deep sleep.

 

''I never saw you here before. You're new or something ?'' asked Lorenzo,

 

''Uh... Yeah … I moved here only a few weeks ago, I, uh … transferred here for … reasons'' said Underhill, turning his head to look at Lorenzo, who looked back at him with furrowed brows, and narrowed eyes.

 

''Alright'' simply said Lorenzo, then turning his head away from Underhill, he layed his head back against the wall, and closed his eyes, but Underhill didn't turn his eyes away from Lorenzo. There always had been something about Lorenzo, he just couldn't understand him...

 

''Why do you hate Magnus ?'' asked Underhill, unable to handle the awkward silence anymore.

 

''I beg your pardon ?'' asked Lorenzo, opening his eyes, and moving his head forward, away from the wall, to look at Underhill with an incredulous gaze, with narrowed eyes, and pressed lips.

 

''Magnus. You hate him. Why ?'' asked Underhill, again, letting his back fall against the wall, but not looking away from the warlock.

 

''I don't hate Magnus Bane'' said Lorenzo, sneering, looking away from Underhill, and his eyes fell on Magnus' unmoving body on the bed. Underhill noticed how his eyes narrowed, and how he was staring at Magnus with a frown, his mouth set in a hard line, his jaw tightened.

 

''It doesn't seem like you don't'' answered back Underhill, his tone almost defensive, looking at Lorenzo with a determined look.

 

''And why do you care about that ?'' asked Lorenzo, looking away from Magnus, to glare at Underhill.

 

''It just … I mean, I don't know... He is …'' Underhill stuttered with his words, finding hard to speak out his words, under Lorenzo glaring look.

 

''I just … He is an amazing person, why would anyone hate him ?'' asked Underhill, looking at Lorenzo with confused eyes, watching Lorenzo shake his head, to turn away from Underhill's gaze, to look at Magnus' form again.

 

''Are you jealous-''

 

''I am not jealous of Magnus Bane !'' exclaimed Lorenzo, looking at Underhill, his eyes comically wide, and his expression almost furious, making Underhill back away a little.

 

''There is nothing to be jealous about Magnus B-''

 

A loud snorting noise interrupted Lorenzo's sentence, and they both turned their heads to look at a smirking Raphael, who was looking back at them.

Underhill saw Lorenzo glaring at Raphael, his jaw clenched, then he turned his head to look at Underhill.

 

''Okay, fine, there are plenty of things to be jealous about Bane, but I am not jealous of him !'' said Lorenzo, crossing his arms in front of his chest, and Underhill felt like he was talking to a child, which made him snort, and cough at the same time, to make it feel like it wasn't intentional, but with the look Lorenzo gave him, Underhill knew that his snort didn't go unnoticed.

 

''And why do you care so much about him anyway ? You just got here, you don't know him like I do ? He is … I can't stand that guy since the past centuries.'' said Lorenzo, shrugging, and saying something under his breath but Underhill couldn't catch that.

 

Underhill looked away from Lorenzo and his gaze went to Magnus, who was lying on his bed, unmoving. Underhill couldn't clearly see his face, but the beeping sounds of the machines around them, and the sound of Magnus' breathing, made Underhill know that Magnus wasn't doing okay, and that wasn't _okay._

 

He had been in the training room, with other new Shadowhunters, when he had heard the yelling outside of the room. He had ran towards the sounds, until he had reached the Library, where he had seen Magnus on the ground, with Isabelle, his warlock friend, and Jace around him, trying to wake him up.

And when he had heard, that Magnus wasn't breathing anymore, he had yelled at Jace to carry him to the infirmary ward, and Underhill had run to the infirmary, to inform the medic and the staff to prepare everything. He had also made sure to tell them, to do everything they could, to save the patient, that he was a close relative to the Head of Institute.

 

And when the staff had saw Magnus Bane, being carried inside by Jace, his body limp in the shadowhunter's arms, with a nose bleed, and not breathing, everyone in the infirmary ward froze. Isabelle's sharp, strong voice had brought them back, and they had moved around quickly around them, and had taken care of the patient. Underhill, who had been in shock, after seeing Magnus' condition, had taken a few, calming breaths, to calm himself down, and had moved away from the place, leaving Magnus' friends and the staff to work on him.

When he had got out of Magnus' room, he had seen Alec Lightwood mother's pacing around in the corridor, and when she had stopped to look at him, he had seen how worried and scared she was. After he had calmed her down, she had told him to carry on with the research in the Library, while she would be waiting. And Underhill had walked away.

 

A snap of fingers brought him back from his thoughts, and he turned to look at Lorenzo, who was watching him with raised eyebrows, and Underhill realized that he hadn't answered Lorenzo's question.

 

''I don't know him but … the way people talk about him... I mean, he had helped so much, these past few months, with Valentine, Lilith, Jonathan, Jace … Especially when he didn't need to. But he still did. We, shadowhunters, have a tendency to mess everything up, and Magnus had been here all the time to fix our problems. '' said Underhill, snorting, when Lorenzo and Raphael mumbled something under their breaths.

 

''But … that's just not it. The way he helped Alec... When I was at my parent's Institute, we all heard about that famous day. They all talked about that _''shadowhunter who kissed the warlock at his own wedding while he was supposed to marry another woman''._ Magnus didn't only save the Downworlders and the Shadowhunters with those wars, but the way he had helped Alec … to come out of his shell, to help him be the way he wanted… Isn't that beautiful ?'' asked Underhill looking at Lorenzo, who looked back at him with a frown, and uncertainty. Then, he shrugged, and said,

 

''I guess.''

 

Underhill looked at the vampire next, and he saw him caressing Magnus' hands with his fingers, still looking at Magnus, but this time, with a small, and proud smile.

 

''What I mean is that … We need Magnus. _Alec_ needs Magnus. I think that … I don't think that Alec would survive without him. I … And I think we'd be lost without them. The Downworld and the Shadow world. We need them both.''

 

''… If you say so. Then we'll find something. A magical potion, a way into Edom, even if I don't even know how I let myself get convinced by these people. This is going to be a disaster.'' answered Lorenzo, bringing his hand up to put it against his forehead, and sighing.

 

''We don't have a choice'' said Underhill,

 

''Yeah, don't remind me that'' said Lorenzo, rolling his eyes at him, and moving his back against the chair, to get into a more comfortable position.

 

''Do you really think he is going to die ?'' whispered Underhill, looking down at his lap, his voice dropping, half scared that it would become inevitable even if he voices that possibility out loud.

 

''He won't''

 

Lorenzo and Underhill both looked up to see Raphael glaring at them, his jaw clenched, his teeth grinding together, his hand instinctively holding Magnus' hand tighter, and his look determined, showing them how tenacious and serious he was, about his statement.

 

''He is not going to die, because we are not going to let him.'' said Raphael, looking at Underhill and Lorenzo.

 

Underhill nodded, and smiled at the vampire, while Lorenzo rolled his eyes,

 

''Hoping that it won't be coming back to bite us in the ass'' said Lorenzo, grumbling, and looking down at his feet.

 

''I think it probably will'' said Underhill smiling at Lorenzo, making him groan and throw his head back in annoyance, while Raphael snorted.

 

''We will deal with the consequences later'' said Lorenzo, waving his hand away in front of him, ''Now let's just focus on maintaining Bane alive''

 

''We will.'' said Underhill, nodding to himself, while Lorenzo sighed.

 

Then, all of them fell into silence.

And Underhill went back to his thoughts.

 

Raphael was right. They couldn't let Magnus die. They couldn't. Not only because he mattered to them, but to Alec. And Alec, had lately became a friend, he had been more than a leader, to Underhill.

And he knew how much happiness and joy Magnus had been bringing into Alec's life, since Underhill had came to the Insitute. Even if Magnus had became mundane, Underhill noticed Magnus and Alec's love didnt' reduce or alter at all. And he was glad about it. Underhill knew that they loved each other, and always will whatever may happen.

And he also knew, how Alec had been worried sick since the day Magnus had lost his magic. And that had been weeks ago.

Whatever choices they would make, Underhill really hoped that they would be able to save Magnus. Because he knew that Alec wasn't going to rest until he would find a solution to save the life of his other half. He knew that Alec would turn both Earth and Hell around to save Magnus, and Underhill would definitely help, if it ever came to that point.

 

Suddenly, a voice resonated in the room, and Underhill looked up to see Raphael, sitting on the side of Magnus' bed, and saying,

 

''Magnus ? Magnus ! What's going on ?''

 

Underhill immediately stood up, because of how urgent and panicking Raphael's tone was sounding.

 

''He's not breathing ! Lorenzo !'' yelled Raphael, turning his head from Magnus to glare at the warlock, and the next second, Lorenzo was running toward the bed, muttering a curse under his breath, his magic already slipping from his fingers.

 

Underhill snapped from his shock, and walked toward Magnus, and saw him moving in his bed, trashing under the sheets, but still asleep.

 

''Magnus, Magnus, breathe, damn it !'' heard Underhill, it was Lorenzo.

 

The warlock was moving his hands, above Magnus, his magic flowing into Magnus' body, but useless, because Lorenzo's magic was making it even worse, and Raphael felt it, because Magnus' stopped moving.

 

''Magnus ! Magnus !'' screamed Raphael, shaking Magnus' laying body, by taking him by the shoulders.

 

''Move !'' said Lorenzo, pushing Raphael away from Magnus' bed, then looking at Underhill who was still standing, in shock, in front of them, he yelled,

 

''Call Lightwood !''

 

And that made Underhill move, and he sprinted out of the infirmary.

He ran, and ran, and a few seconds later, he was bursting through the doors of the Library, breathing heavily, feeling his lungs burn.

 

The second Alec saw Underhill, he knew something was wrong, and he started running out of the Library, passing by Underhill, and everyone followed after him, and taking a long breath, Underhill ran again, after them.

 

When they got inside Magnus' room again, Raphael was pacing in front of Magnus' bed, and when he saw Alec enter the door, breathless, his face full of worry, Raphael looked at him with wide eyes, and a clenched jaw, and said, his voice barely above a whisper :

 

''He is not breathing''

 

Underhill heard Alec's breath stop, and the next second, Alec was next to Magnus.

 

Magnus, who had been struggling to breathe during his sleep, had suddenly opened his eyes, probably because of the shock. He was trashing under the sheets, opening his mouth wide, trying to get some air into his lungs, but it was useless, because it wasn't working.

 

''What's happening ??'' yelled Alec, looking at Lorenzo, who was moving his hands above Magnus' body trying to do something which could trigger the breathing process, but that was useless as well.

 

''Magnus, it's okay, it's okay'' said Alec, feeling his own voice break, and he felt a few tears roll on his cheek, but he didnt' care about those, all he cared about was Magnus.

Magnus, who was looking at Alec, with wide eyes, filled with pain, confusion, and especially fear. Alec couldn't stand it.

 

Alec felt a hard grip on his arm, suddenly, and he looked down to see Magnus' hand grasping his arms, his nails digging into his skin, while he was trying to breathe. Alec moved toward Magnus, their forheads almost touching, and said, with a firm, yet trembling voice :

 

''You're gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay''

 

But all of a sudden, Alec felt Magnus' grip losing, and looked down to see his hand fall on the bed. And when Alec looked up, he saw Magnus' eyes roll in the back of his head. He was losing consciousness.

 

''No, no, no, Magnus, Magnus ! Look at me !'' said Alec, raising his voice, feeling panic settle in his whole being. He was feeling really, really hot, and felt like he was going to pass out in a few seconds, but he needed to be strong, he needed be strong for Magus, for the both of them. But seeing Magnus lose consciousness, made Alec feel like he was dying.

He grabbed Magnus' face between his hands, and begged him to wake up, to open his eyes and to look at him, but Magnus didn't. Magnus wasn't looking at him, znd he wasn't breathing.

 

''Do something !'' yelled Alec, looking around him, franctically, and then, he heard the sounds of heels tapping against the floor of Magnus' room, and the next second, Isabelle was standing at the other side of the bed, with a plastic straw and a razor blade.

 

''What are you doing ?'' asked Alec, looking at Isabelle, but it was Lorenzo who answered.

 

''This actually may work, since his body is not reacting to magic, we can't help, but the mundane way might''

 

''I don't even know why the oxygen is not getting through him'' said Isabelle, her hands shaking, nodding at the oxygen bottle hanging in the air, which was supposed to get the air into his lungs by the tube which was inserted in his nose.

 

Alec heard the distance noises of some of the nurses and the medical staff wandering around them, preparing other stuff, but Alec couldn't take his eyes off Magnus' face. He saw with the corner of his eyes, Underhill, Raphael, Jace, and Lorenzo, standing a few meters away from them, to give them some space.

 

Then, looking up, Alec stared at Isabelle, who was looking back at him. Alec nodded toward her, and she got to work. Approaching Magnus, Isabelle bent down and got to work. She moved her hands toward Magnus' throat, and using her fingers she found the indentation between Magnus' adam's apple and his cricoid cartilage.

 

''Is it gonna work ?'' asked Alec, getting the idea of what Isabelle was going to do, but still worried, and scared that it wouldn't be enough to get Magnus back.

 

''It better does'' answered Isabelle, not looking up, her concentration full on Magnus.

 

Alec saw her, with the help of the razor, make a horizontal incision about one half inch deep. And when she inserted one of her fingers inside the slit, to open it, Alec had to look away, keeping himself in control not to cry, because even the thought of seeing Magnus bleed, was unbearable to him. Then, Isabelle put the plastic straw in the incision. She breathed into the straw with two quick breaths, paused for a few seconds, then did again. She paused again, and did it one more time. She kept breathing into the straw, pausing every time for a few seconds.

 

Alec felt like this was taking forever. He shut his eyes, and breathed in and out, for a few seconds. He heard a distant voice, saying,

 

''Come on, Magnus'', and Alec recognized Jace's voice.

 

After feeling like every seconds were hours, Alec finally heard a loud gasp, and snapped his head to the side, to see Magnus, his head moving forward from the pillow because of the shock, taking huge gulp of air, and falling back on the pillow under his head, coughing.

 

Alec had never felt so thankful and grateful to the Angels, as he was feeling right now. He took a long relieved breathe, as if he was the one who had trouble breathing these past minutes. He smiled down at Magnus, and felt tears roll down on cheeks, and saw the drops fall on Magnus' pillow, but Alec didn't care. Magnus was breathing. He was breathing. He was okay. He was okay. That was all that mattered right now.

 

''Alexander …'' called Magnus, his eyes finding Alec's, looking at him, with a small smile, and Alec smiled back at him.

 

''I am here, I am here, you're okay. You're okay.'' whispered Alec, looking down at Magnus, with relief. He moved his hands to caress Magnus' cheeks, and wiped his tears away.

Magnus moved his hand toward Alec, and gripping Alec's shirt, he yanked at it, with the little strenght he had left.

 

Alec, understanding Magnus' unspoken request, immediately bent down and kissed Magnus' on his forehead, his closed eyes, his cheeks, and every other part of Magnus' face, letting his tears fall freely from his eyes.

Then, he rested his forehead against Magnus' and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. Alec felt Magnus' hand move away from his shirt, and opened his eyes, when Magnus' palm rested against his cheek. He backed away to see Magnus smiling at him, tiredly.

 

''Alec.''

 

He looked up and saw Isabelle looking at him with teary eyes, and small, sad, yet relieved smile, he stood up, putting Magnus' hand, which was against his cheek, on the bed.

 

''Let the staff do the rest of the job'' said Isabelle, nodding at Alec, and for the first time, Alec looked around him.

 

Jace was looking at them with a relieved smile, Underhill was smiling widely at him, with red eyes, Raphael wasn't smiling but he looked Alec into his eyes, and nodded at him.

And Lorenzo... well, he wasn't smiling either, but Alec felt that he was relieved, maybe not at the same level as everyone, but still relieved.

He saw the nurses and the Institute doctor approach them, so Alec looked down at Magnus, and smiled encouragingly at him.

 

''Hey, Magnus'' whispered Alec, moving his hand forward, to caress Magnus' cheek,

 

''I will be right outside, okay ? I will be right back, okay ?'' said Alec, not even wanting to part away from Magnus. Magnus, looked up at him, and nodded slightly, smiling at him.

 

Alec stood in front of the bed for a few more seconds, gazing at Magnus, then walked away, leaving the medical staff to do their job.

He moved away, and followed everyone else who were walking out of Magnus' room.

When Alec got out of the room, he immediately felt angry, sad, desesperate, frightened, hopeless, and the next thing he knew, he was falling down, on his knees, and suddenly couldn't breathe properly.

His knees hit the ground, and he felt his whole body follow. He was hearing distant voices, and a weird buzzing noise inside his head, but he was feeling like he was floating, but in a bad kind of way.

 

He felt his lungs burn, and realized that he wasn't breathing anymore. Before he could start panicking, he felt two, strong hands holding him by his shoulders, and Alec looked up to see Raphael crouching in front of him. He felt the vampire's nails digging into his shoulders.

 

''Alec, he is okay, Magnus is okay. Just breathe.'' heard Alec, Raphael's voice still sounded like it was miles away from him, but Alec still heard the words.

 

He felt another pair of hands behind his back, and saw Isabelle's blury face with the corner of his eye.

 

''Breathe, brother, just breathe''

 

Alec felt Isabelle's hands caressing his back, and Raphael's hands holding him by the shoulders with a tight grip, and he hold onto these physical presence to resurface himself from the dark place he was falling into.

Tears were rolling down on his face, and Alec followed Isabelle's voice, which was repeatedly telling him to breathe. He felt himself float through the clouds, for a few more seconds, until he came back to reality, and took his first steady breathe.

 

''That's it brother, take another one. Another one, keep going''

 

He took another deep breathe, and another one, again, and again, and felt the hard ground he was sitting on, on his knees, and bent down, his hands on the floor, supporting his body. Then, a few seconds later, he broke down. His knees gave out, and he felt himself fall on the ground, the side of his legs hitting on the floor. Alec didn't know when he started crying, but he felt his entire body shake from the heartwrenching sobs he was letting out.

He shut his eyes, and fall forward, feeling his head rest against Raphael's chest, and the vampire's arms embracing him. Isabelle was still holding him from behind, and kept caressing his head, and his back, all the while whispering tender and comforting words.

 

''He is okay, he is okay'' heard Alec, Raphael's words reaching his ears, making him cry even more.

 

He was crying from relief, but mostly from fear.

Fear of how close they had got from losing Magnus.

Fear of losing Magnus for good, before they even got the chance to live their lives together. And Magnus … Magnus was his _everything._

And now, he was losing him, slowly. And there was nothing he could do. He was doomed to see the love his life, die in front of him.

Even if they had the slightest chance of reaching to Asmodeus, what happens if Magnus can not hold on until that moment ? What if Magnus' condition was getting worse by every second, and Alec wouldn't be able to save him ?

The last thought made Alec's heart ache, and he took a gulp of air, to prevent himself from going into a panic attack again.

 

Then, he felt another hand grasping his arms, and he felt himself pulled away from Raphael's embrace, to see at his side, Jace, who was holding a glass of water in his hand. Without saying a word, Jace brought the glass toward him, and Alec moved his head to sip a few drops of water. Taking a few breaths between, Alec felt himself calm down after drinking the whole glass.

Jace patted on his back a few times, then said,

 

''I am gonna back to the Library now, and keep searching until we find something. Everything will be fine. We have that meeting with the Clave members, tomorrow morning remember ? We'll get their permission for their registered books, and we will go to Edom. Alec, we will save Magnus, I promise you that, brother.''

 

Alec felt a few more tears roll down from his eyes, but he nodded to Jace, gulping and swallowing the threatening sob which was trying to break out off him.

Alec saw Jace get up from the floor, then heard him call Underhill and Lorenzo to help him out, and the two others soon followed Jace out of the infirmary corridor.

 

''Sorry'' said Alec, looking down, not daring to look into Raphael's eyes, who was still on the floor, sitting right in front of him, one of his hands still gripping his shoulder. And Alec felt immensely grateful for his support, and his presence, despite their past disagreements.

 

''It's alright'' said Raphael, and Alec looked up to see him staring back at him with shining eyes, filled with unshed tears, and Alec almost wanted to embrace him, to tell him that Magnus was going to be okay. Instead, Alec moved his hands up, and held Raphael's arm, with strenght, showing his gratefulness, and thanking him with a little smile, nodding at him.

 

Then, Raphael stood up, and held out his hand. Alec looked up, and swallowing, he moved his hands, grasped Raphael's and let himself be pulled out of the floor. Standing up, he looked at his side, and saw Isabelle next to him, who still had her hand on his back. Giving a tight squeeze to Raphael's hand, he let go, and whispered a thank you, for which Raphael nodded, silently.

 

''I am gonna to your Library, to make sure the idiots do their job properly'' said Raphael, smirking a little at him, making Alec chuckle.

 

''Please make sure Lorenzo doesn't kill anyone'' said Alec, smiling back at the vampire, and the vampire nodded, his smirk transforming into a small smile.

 

''I can't promise I won't end up killing him'' replied Raphael, making Alec shake his head in amusement. Then, Raphael patted his shoulder with his hand, and giving a long look at Isabelle, smiling at her, he walked away, but not before seeing Isabelle smiling back at him.

 

Isabelle smiled at the vampire's back, then moving from his side, she came to stand in front of him, and took his face between her palms, and Alec tilted his head into her hold.

 

''I'm so scared Isabelle'' whispered Alec, closing his eyes for a few seconds, then opening them again to see his sister staring back at him with tears shining in her eyes, and Alec knew she was fighting back her own break down, to stay strong for him. Her lower lip trembled, while she tried to maitain her smile.

 

''I know brother, I know. But we will figure this out, alright ?'' whispered Isabelle at him, caressing his cheek with her thumb.

 

''What if-''

 

''No.'' interrupted Isabelle, not letting Alec finish his sentence.

 

''Do not think like that. Don't. '' said Isabelle, her voice firm, and eyes boring into his.

 

The door of Magnus' opened, and Alec turned around to see their doctor and nurses walk out of the room.

 

''How is he ?'' asked Alec, facing them, not even giving the change for the medic to talk.

 

''He is stable now. He is asleep. He is … really weak, he needs to rest.'' said the doctor, looking at Alec with a sad expression, but yet, with sympathy.

 

''Thank you'' said Alec, nodding to them, and Alec saw the medic struggling to say something, but holding it back.

 

''What is it ?'' asked Alec, fear and panic finding their places back in Alec's mind,

 

''He doesn't have long … Whatever you're planning to do, do it quickly'' said the doctor, and Alec fought back the urge to scream, and start crying again. Instead, Alec nodded at them, and said,

 

''Thank you, and I will''

 

The medic smiled at him, then walked away, with the rest of the nurses, getting back to their usual routine.

Alec turned around, to look at Isabelle, and looking at her with gratefulness and kindness, he opened his mouth to say something but Isabelle interrupted him first.

 

''Don't you dare thank me''

 

Alec chuckled, and moved toward her, and took her in a big, strong, hug, and he felt her strong arms embracing him. A few seconds later, they backed away.

 

''I am gonna go help with the research. You stay with Magnus okay ? I'll send Underhill to watch out for the both of you. I have to go and make sure Raphael and Lorenzo don't end up killing each other'' said Isabelle, walking away from him, after winking and smiling at him.

 

Alec chuckled and watched Isabelle get out of the infirmary. When he saw the doors close, he turned around and faced Magnus' room door. Taking a deep breathe, he reached out and turned the handle of the door, opened it and walked in.

 

Closing the door behind him, Alec looked around. Everything was quiet, except for the beepings of the machines, and Magnus' breathing. Gathering some courage and strength, Alec walked until he came next to Magnus' bed.

 

Magnus was laying on his bed, sleeping, his head tilted to the side, and Alec noticed a sticking plaster at the place where Isabelle made the incision. Magnus' steady, normal, breaths made Alec feel a lot better than he was a few minutes ago.

Refusing to let himself go back into his unwanted, and terrifying thoughts, Alec sat down at the side of Magnus' bed, and put down his head in his hands.

 

A few minutes later, Alec felt a hand tugging at the back of his shirt, Alec turned around and looked down to see Magnus, his eyes barely open, but his hand holding his shirt, and tugging at it. Alec bent forward, until their faces were close, and whispered,

 

''I am not going anywhere. Sleep Magnus, you need to rest.''

 

''Lay with … me. Please, Alexander'' whispered back, Magnus, opening his eyes for a few seconds to look at Alec, pleadingly, before closing them again, but not before whispering,

 

''Please...'' and tugging at Alec's shirt again.

 

And Alec, taking Magnus hand, which was holding his shirt, in his own, got up from the side of the bed, got onto the bed, and laid himself down, being careful to not to step on the wires, on his side, right next to Magnus. He rested his head on the other half of the pillow, facing Magnus. He moved his arm, which was on the bed, and used his hand to caress Magnus' cheek which was on his pillow, and Alec saw Magnus smile at little, and moving toward his touch. So Alec put down his hand between the pillow and Magnus' cheek, so that Magnus could rest on his palm.

His other hand was holding Magnus', and Alec moved both of their hands to rest them on Magnus' chest. He kept holding Magnus' hand, and felt Magnus squeeze his hand back.

 

Then, he felt Magnus' hold slipping away, and looked at Magnus, to see him peacefully sleeping. Smiling, Alec moved toward Magnus a little, and dropped a kiss on his lover's forehead. Then, backing away, Alec rested his head on the pillow, and closed his eyes.

 

He let himself feel only Magnus' presence, his body next to him, his hand into his own, and Alec moved his head forward, until it rested against Magnus' shoulder, feeling Magnus' chin on the top of his head. Breathing in, letting Magnus' scent surround him, Alec let himself drawn into the peaceful feeling he had always felt whenever he was in Magnus' arms, and he felt his mind slipping into a place filled with love, care, and contentement.

He knew that this feeling of peace wouldn't last long. That, in a few hours, they would go back, both of them, to the awful reality threatening both of their happiness.

 

But Alec, promised to himself, while falling into unconsciousness, that he would find a way.

 

He would find a way to save Magnus. Even if it was the last thing he woud do.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading ! Good luck for the next episode... We're gonna diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie.

**Author's Note:**

> MALEC DESERVE THE WORLD AND THAT'S IT
> 
> Don't forget to use the tag #StayWithMeMalecFic if you live tweet ❤️


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